The Color-Blind Detective
 

Death of the Third Person

Published in 3rd Degree in February 2003

 

My name is CB Green, and I’m color-blind. My friends think I live in a strange, featureless world of black and white and gray, dark and uninteresting. Mostly they’re wrong, but in one sense they’re not so far off the mark. Strip out the noise of color, and the world is less confusing, less wonderful. Less is always simpler, so I’m one of those guys who doesn’t complicate things. Still, there are things so complicated they make my head hurt. Bob Jackson, he’s one of those, though I’m sure to him his life couldn’t be simpler.

How to explain? Well first, there’s us, the normal people. We live our lives in the first person. Everybody else we know is constructed in our first person heads from what our eyes and ears tell us. No one knows what any other person thinks about anything. I sit across from my friends, I have no idea what they’re thinking, how they’re thinking, or for that matter, even if they’re thinking. Maybe it’s all some elaborate show staged to fool me. But no playwright, no matter how devious, no matter how god-like, could have invented Bob Jackson.

I met Bob Jackson ten years ago in San Francisco, in my pre-detective life. Bob is black, but he's never mentioned it, since it isn’t his defining characteristic. Those who remember the football player, Bo Jackson, can it be that long ago, well, they knew him to say, "Bo doesn’t like that," or, "That’s not Bo’s way," or, "Bo runs to daylight," but he was just substituting Bo for I. It’s called illeism. It’s odd, but only a trick of speech.

Not Bob. Bob lives the present tense in the first person, but his past tense life, that’s a third person event. If Bob was writing an autobiography of his life, he’d use sentences like, "Bob, he called his sister to discuss their mother’s new boyfriend." Bob can say words like, "I’m going to the store," but an hour later it’s, "Bob, he went to the store." And that doesn’t even start to describe it.

Sometimes I see a hint of it in celebrities. Just the other day on television I saw some Billy Bob guy talking about his wife, the love of his life, how he’d never been in love before. Then the Good Morning America reporterette mentions the woman’s his fifth wife. I guess the now-Billy Bob is the loving, sensitive guy, but the then-Billy Bob was your typical rutting male, trading relationships for sex. But that’s Hollywood, and I expect the story to play out the same for the sixth wife. Who knows, maybe we all have a little third person in us. But nothing like Bob Jackson.

Back when I first met him, I thought his affliction was only a trait of speech, that illeism, or even that celebrity thing, but it wasn’t long before I learned otherwise. In his head, Bob only had the now. That’s not to say he didn’t have memories, because he did, but some part of him said Bob-him, not Bob-me. Bob viewed this Bob-him as someone he knew completely, but not intimately. I could ask Bob how he felt, right then, and get a straight answer. I couldn’t ask him how he felt the day before, because he didn’t know. Now-Bob didn’t have a yesterday, and then-Bob was not the same man as now-Bob.

You think it confuses you? Ha! I was confused from the first moment I got a handle on it. In fact, it was only once I understood it that it got really confusing. Even now after all these years, I can only grasp the outline of it, imagine its shape, but the reality eludes me.

Bob and I share the same circle of friends, that is, my friends are his. I’m pretty sure he didn’t have any other friends since it’s almost impossible to get close to the guy, unless you first know about his problem, and then take the time to get past it. I don’t know why I took the time, but Bob intrigued me, and I really wanted to learn how his mind worked. Well, I never found out, but somehow we became friends, the three of us, me, now-Bob and then-Bob.

As you might guess, there are times when it can be tough talking to Bob, even when you know him as well as I do. Imagine how tough it was on the cops.

Bob called me in my office, mixing his now and then, "CB, Bob’s in big trouble. I’m at the police station. Bob, you’ve got to save him." No lawyer, just me, good friend of the first and third person.

On reflex, I called Denise Richards, queen secretary for the lawyers of Whitman, Howard, Ormand, Masters and Edmonds, or, as we in the know affectionately call them, WHO-ME. She said Walt Edmonds would meet me at the station. I caught a cab downtown.

Detective Maureen McMartin, the most attractive cop I know, collared me as I make my way to the interrogation room. We share a good friend, homicide cop Dennis Doyle, and, to my disappointment, not much else. She stood real close, craned her neck. She didn’t hide her irritation. "Hey, Green, your friend there is running me around in circles."

I ignored her chagrin. "What are you holding him for?"

She’s a good cop, good at maintaining the assumption of innocence no matter what her brain tells her. "Suspicion of murdering his wife."

"Christa’s dead?"

She put some space between us. "Yes, shot in the head, in the kitchen." She changed her voice to imitate Bob, and she bobbed her head the way he does when he’s nervous. "Bob, he was at work, alone."

I couldn’t help myself, I chuckled. "It’s the way he talks."

She didn’t see the humor of it. "Well, it’s confusing as all hell."

I shook my head. "You don’t know the half of it, Detective."

She held up her hands, palms out. "Yeah, well I can’t figure out what he’s saying."

"I can help. Let me talk to him."

She cocked her head and asked a question with her light gray eyes.

"Hey, he doesn’t just talk that way. Look, you sit in, just watch the show. Okay?"

There was the sound of hard heels on the tile floor. She turned her head. "What about Edmonds there?" She doesn’t much care for criminal lawyers, especially Walt.

Walt approached us wearing a practiced lawyerly frown. I turned him around, said I was too quick on the trigger, that maybe it wasn’t such an emergency after all. I told him I’d call if the status changed. He wasn’t happy, but then it’s not my job to keep Walt happy.

"Okay, McMartin, let’s go and see Mr. Jackson."

She started walking down the hall.

To her back, "I'll do the talking, don’t interrupt."

She wasn’t happy either. I got over it.

We sat. I said, "Hi, Bob, the detective say’s you’re giving her a tough time."

He pointed at me. "Bob, he just tells the truth."

I said, "Bob, let’s start at the top." I looked to McMartin, then back to Bob. "Tell me about Bob’s day."

Bob smiled, he finally had someone to talk to. "Bob’s day was tough, CB, even before this. He was working real late, on the new graphics, didn’t particularly want to go home to Christa. You know she’s been crapping on Bob for a long time. Bob, he was getting ready to leave."

I’d tell you how it was Bob ended up married three years ago, but I haven’t figured it out myself. "Why did Bob stay around so long?"

A look of skepticism settled on the pretty detective’s face. She didn’t believe it. Bob was talking about someone else. I recalled that first time I saw it for what it was. We were playing poker, and Bob started to complain about how Bob played so badly, lost all his money, the then-Bob, not the now-Bob. There seemed an at best tenuous connection between the two.

"Bob thought she would straighten up her act."

I knew Christa. "It wasn’t going to happen."

"Well, Bob, he’s not so bright maybe."

"Were Bob and Christa getting it on?"

He shook his head, but there was no embarrassment, like it had nothing to do with him. "No, Christa wasn’t into sex any more."

I needed to show the detective what we were dealing with. "What do you think Christa was into?"

Now-Bob looked confused. "I don’t know --" a pause, "-- directly that is."

That is where it always gets me, trying to understand how the soon to be oblivious now-Bob assimilates life to construct the third person then-Bob. I can’t imagine it, and, like I said, it makes my head hurt.

I rephrased my question. "What did Bob think Christa was into?"

"Bob, he thinks lesbians and drugs."

"Bob saw Christa using drugs?"

"No, Bob saw Christa selling drugs."

"What did Bob think of the lesbians?"

"Bob, he didn’t like it."

Then I asked the only question that mattered, "Did Bob kill Christa?"

Matter-of-fact, "No, CB, Bob did not kill Christa. Bob, he was at work."

"Anybody see Bob at work?"

I heard the detective let out a long breath. I kept my eyes on Bob.

"Bob, he doesn’t think so. He used his key to lock up when he left."

I stood up and walked the pretty detective out of the room. I said, "I know you’d like it to your own satisfaction, but Bob didn’t kill Christa."

Her head bobbed again, sarcasm dripped from her words, "Right, you know that."

I steepled my fingers, pressed my lips to them, then talked through them. "Listen Detective, we’re dealing with two people here. I’ve been doing it a long time, I almost understand him. We got the now-Bob, he’s the guy we’re talking to, then there’s the then-Bob, he’s the guy everything more than ten minutes old happened to."

She ran her fingers through thick dark gray hair I’m told is red. The wiry hair crackled with electricity. "You mean like a split personality?"

"No." I paused. "Maybe. It’s like now-Bob is a different guy. He doesn’t care much for then-Bob either."

Disbelief, "So how’s he function?"

"He works for a software company, does a lot of now-stuff with then-knowledge. Not so tough. Anyway, he’s got a real special knack with code, like something both Bobs can share. And he’s had the same supervisor for twenty years. She asks the same question every day, ‘So, tell me what Bob did?’ Now-Bob never lies about then-Bob’s progress. She and I, we talk about it. It’s a beautiful thing."

The detective rubbed the disbelief from her eyes. "Right."

I shrugged. "Now-Bob has no idea what then-Bob thinks, really thinks, about anything. He knows nothing of intent or motivation. He only knows then-Bob’s tone of voice, body language, that sort of thing, like it was a character he saw in a movie, or a book he read. Sure, he can draw conclusions about what then-Bob thought, but in reality he doesn’t know that much more about what then-Bob thought than you or I do."

Frustration marked the words, "So what am I supposed to do?"

"Take a day, assume he didn’t do it, and see where it leads you ..."

She shook her head.

"... unless you think more questions will clear it up."

She sighed. "What do I tell the captain? He’ll laugh me out of the office."

I couldn’t help her there. "I don’t know. Why don’t you just wait for the evidence. You’re good at that. I’ll talk to Bob. You can keep him for twenty-four hours. He’ll sign anything you need."

Begrudging, "I’ll give it a shot."

I smiled.

"But you only get one chance like this to put my ass on the line, Green. If Bob, now-Bob, then-Bob, or any Bob killed his wife, I’ll be toast."

"So blame me, Maureen."

"It’s McMartin, Detective McMartin to you, and, for your information, it doesn’t work that way, Green." She didn’t much like me using her first name, a little too familiar.

* * * * *

Detective McMartin called me at the office. "Green, you better get Edmonds down here for your client. We’ve just booked him for murder." No grays in her voice.

"Can I talk to Bob?"

I heard the hedging, "We’ve got a psychiatrist set to talk to him, if it’s okay with Edmonds. And if Edmonds asks me nicely, you can talk to him too."

I called Walt, then make my way to the police station.

The detective took me to a little room off the area where her cubicle was. There was a manila file on the corner of the table. She didn’t look happy.

I was irritated too. "What, you couldn’t wait one day?"

Her gray eyes blazed. "Yeah, right. I said I’d wait for the evidence. Two hours and we had all we needed. I’m sitting with the captain, telling him your story, when this file shows up." She tapped the file.

I shrugged.

"How well do you know Mr. Jackson?"

I got one of those feeling I was about to learn more, and I wasn’t going to like it. "I’ve known him for ten years."

"Did you know he hasn’t always been like this?"

"No, but I guessed it. Can’t have made it through high school or college like that."

Typical female incredulity, "You never asked him?"

"No, I never got the right opportunity."

She shook her head. "What is it with you men? You know each other forever, and you don’t know a damn thing. Skin deep, you’re all skin deep."

I needled her just because I could. "Problems at home, Detective?" Fourteen year-old daughter, or her soon-to-be husband, who knows, but no reason to take it out on me.

"Get off my case. It’s not me with the problems." I’d struck home though. She rearranged her face. "Look, it says here the man shot his first wife, eighteen years ago. They found him walking the streets, didn’t know who he was, where he was. They found his car crunched against a tree, and he’d banged up his head some. They took him to the hospital, gave him a sedative. When he woke up, his entire past was third person, like you said, then-Bob. His lawyers used it as a defense. He spent a year in a loony bin. He got okayed to return to society, barely. His wife wasn’t so lucky."

I was a little worried. "That doesn’t prove anything about now."

McMartin frowned. "We found the gun in the dumpster at the company where he works. It’s a secure location."

I knew. I nodded.

"No prints on the gun or the bullets."

I waited her out.

"The gun was legal when he got it twenty years ago. The file said he didn’t know where it went, lost it before his first wife was killed."

"What does Bob say? Now."

She imitated him again, but there was a more understanding feel to it. "Well, now-Bob said then-Bob bought the gun. Bob, he didn’t know where the gun had gotten to."

"Let me guess."

She tapped the file. "No need to guess, I got it all right here. It was faxed up from San Francisco. Very preliminary, but eye-balling it, the bullet that killed his first wife, it’s markings match the one we took out of Christa."

I had an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. "What’s Bob say?"

The girl was angry, but I couldn’t tell why. "Which Bob? Anyway, who cares what Bob says. The evidence says he’s guilty."

"And?"

She pushed the file at me. "I’ve got one path to follow."

I pulled the file to me. "And?"

She ran a short practical fingernail along scarred light-gray lipstick. "I don’t believe in one path. It’s not good cop work. You know that?"

She'd almost made a bad mistake once by following one path. Now she was going to marry him. I nodded.

"Well, I’ve got my doubts, but ..."

I tapped my forefinger against my lips, waited.

"... the captain’s got a pipe up my butt for even suggesting we go slow, what with all the evidence. You understand?"

She was speaking in grays, black and white being a little too precipitous for such a cautious female. She was telling me, case closed. It didn’t matter what she thought.

* * * * *

Walt asked, "You want me to sit in?"

I knew he didn’t want to. Sometimes a lawyer can know too much, especially if his client is guilty. I shook my head. Walt parked his two-hundred-and-sixty pounds at the bench outside the little meeting room, across from the guard. He leafed through a stapled report.

Bob looked dejected. He nodded, but didn’t offer his hand.

I got right to it. "Why don’t you tell me about Bob’s past."

"Bob, he’s got a long history."

I let the vacuum between us work on him.

"And you never asked."

That’s right, I never asked. I was thinking the detective had men pegged pretty well. Even then, I only cared about what I needed. "Why don’t you start with the murder of your first wife, Betty."

Bob’s head rose and fell with the words. "Betty was shot. They said Bob did it."

"Did Bob do it?"

He shook his head. "No, Bob, he didn’t do it. If he did, I’d know."

"Tell me about it."

He was momentarily confused, then, "Bob, he fell asleep at the wheel, hit a tree."

"And you’ve been like this ever since."

He frowned at the use of ‘you’.

My irritation bubbled over. "You know what I mean, Bob, that’s when the third person Bob came into existence."

He raised his shoulders. "That’s what they tell me. I just don’t see it."

I changed topics because I had to. "Tell me about Bob’s first wife."

"Betty was a nice girl, but Bob, he had a girlfriend, Candy Apple. She was really gone on him. Bob, he felt really bad about it."

I hadn’t read about a girlfriend in the file. "What happened to her?"

Bob seemed to look inside, at old memories. "Bob, when he got out of the jail, he wouldn’t talk to her. He acted like he didn’t know her." It is almost like now-Bob moment in the past tense.

"Why didn’t Bob tell the police about her?"

"By the time Bob remembered who she was, what he’d done, he was already free."

"I don’t understand."

Bob explained a man he saw, but didn’t know. "Bob, when he had the accident, he was all confused. The thoughts, his past, it got put together in pieces. It took a long time to straighten it out. After a while, Bob remembered everything."

"But not killing Betty?"

"No. Bob, he didn’t kill Betty."

"How come you kept the gun?"

"I don’t have the gun. Bob, he didn’t have it either."

I thought about that. The cops, during their interrogation, probably asked the same questions, might even have gotten the same answers. The problem is believing. I believed. In fact, I never doubted. It was all black and white to me. And that meant the gun followed Bob.

I got on the phone to a detective agency in San Francisco and asked them to trace Candy Apple.

They got back to me the next day. They faxed me a short report. It seemed Candy Apple entered a mental treatment facility in San Ramon seventeen years ago. She was committed by her mother, Della. The institution didn’t give them her file, so that was about the full scoop. Then, seven years ago, Candy Apple hung herself in her room. The obituary said she was survived by her mother.

The agency said the mother had remarried and since divorced. Her new name was Crabbe. Della Crabbe, Bob’s supervisor for twenty years. She’d brought him with her to Portland when she moved up from the Bay area six years ago, two years after I got here.

Mine is a mean business, shaded in a noir-ish black. Most of the people involved are bad guys, a few times none of them are. I don’t know about then-Bob, or for that matter pre-then-Bob, maybe he wasn’t a nice guy, but I can’t ever know enough to make that judgment. I knew Della, though, and she was a nice woman. I thought she understood Bob, but then maybe I just don’t understand people. Who knows what other people think? Not me.

I talked to McMartin. The news made her happy, and sad. She’s a woman, and she saw almost all sides of it from the git-go. Men don’t do that.

Six hours later we were back in her cubicle, waiting for Bob to process out. McMartin said Della confessed in the car on the way to the station. Della told McMartin that her daughter, Candy, was scum. Somehow, over the twenty years of being Bob’s boss, at least after the accident, Della came to think of Bob as her child, disabled, needing her protection. When she figured out her daughter killed Betty Jackson in a fit of obsessive jealousy, she had her committed. She told the detective how her first husband stalked her for years before cancer killed him, that she was a woman who understood obsessions, and that Bob Jackson was the innocent victim of one. So she developed an obsession of her own, she became his guardian angel. And she killed Christa to save Bob. Who’d have thunk it.

The detective’s frown made me uneasy. "What’s wrong?" I asked.

She had to push it out, "Bob got beat up by his cell mate this morning."

"Is he okay?"

"No."

"What do you mean?"

"Then-Bob, he’s dead."

I knew exactly what she meant. Still, like an idiot, I repeated myself. "What do you mean?"

"Bob doesn’t live in the third person anymore."

I took it in, rolled it around in my head. "Maybe I should be happy for him?"

Like I said, she was a woman who saw all sides. "I don’t know."

I saw her struggling with a idea. I waited.

"I got to like then-Bob, and now-Bob. They were special."

I nodded. Again I knew what she meant.

I met Bob in the little waiting room. He was a bit bruised around the eyes. He was straightening his tie. We shook hands. He was a new guy, I saw it in his eyes. He was afraid, like all those stored up third person memories might be reminders of what he hadn’t been, a picture window on eighteen empty years.

Still, old habits died hard. Bob’s smile was enigmatic. "Bob, he was innocent."

He didn’t seem all that happy about it.

 

-the end-

 

Tell me what you think - click to e-mail bill.capron@tds.net